Last night I woke up from a symphony of nightmares.
There came a ringing in my ears,
and I could just barely see your silhouette in the blackness.
I was scared, knowing that you were there, and also not there.
Insecure as hell, breathing all a mess, I asked you to hold me.
And in your familiar not-too-comforting-but-aiming-to-please way,
you came ‘round behind me and wrapped your arms around me
like saran wrap holds a sandwich.
99% necessary business 1% real love and devotion.
Caught somewhere between the fear of closeness and the fear separateness
I drifted back to sleep,
and the paradox swallowed me whole.
